I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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