Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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