I think I just saw someone hide a body.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
