I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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