I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
