did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
