why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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