I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
