But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
