the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
