I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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