If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
