i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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