if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
