Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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