I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
