I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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