I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
