just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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