"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
