Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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