Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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