i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
