When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
