Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
