I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I understand Curling. That high.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
