So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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