She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
