i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
