Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The feeling are messing with the penis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
