i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize