i need an iv and a liver transplant
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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