It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
