I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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