If that was your dad, he is hot
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
