a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
