Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
