I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
