I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
