I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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