So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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