I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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