even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
