Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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