just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
