I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
