if only i could text you this smell
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
