i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
