I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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