I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
