we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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