we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
