Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize