so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
...so i touched it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
