We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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