Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
