We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
