Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's never too late to be topless.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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